When I started my career, I expected my 1:1 meetings with my manager to be insightful, growth-focused, and engaging. But what I got instead was far from that vision.
We didn’t meet often—weeks, sometimes months, would pass without a conversation. And when we did sit down, the focus was solely on the projects. What was on my plate, where the bottlenecks were, and how close we were to deadlines.
I never felt like the conversations were about me. My challenges, goals, or development were never on the agenda. Worse, my manager always positioned himself behind his computer screen, typing away as I spoke.
That screen felt like a wall—literally and figuratively—blocking real connection. I didn’t know what he was writing, and I never saw any follow-up. It felt less like a conversation and more like an evaluation.
It was frustrating. I wasn’t being coached; I was being monitored.
That experience stuck with me. And when I became a leader, I promised myself I’d never let my team feel the way I did in those meetings. I’d make 1:1s meaningful, personal, and frequent.
Why Some Leaders Overlook 1:1s
If we’re being honest, many leaders don’t prioritize 1:1s.
Maybe it’s because the calendar is already packed with meetings, or they feel the conversations aren’t “urgent.” Some leaders simply don’t know what to say beyond a project update, so they avoid 1:1s altogether.
But here’s the thing: when leaders skip 1:1s or turn them into task reviews, they miss an opportunity to truly lead. They leave gaps—gaps in trust, communication, and alignment.
In the tech and engineering sectors, where teams juggle tight deadlines and complex projects, these gaps can quickly grow into significant issues. Misaligned goals. Burnout. Low engagement.
The True Value of 1:1s
A well-conducted 1:1 isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s a leadership tool with incredible value:
- Trust-Building: When team members feel heard and valued, trust grows. Trust leads to openness, collaboration, and stronger results.
- Proactive Problem-Solving: Regular check-ins help uncover challenges early, before they spiral into bigger issues.
- Alignment: Frequent conversations keep team members focused on the right priorities, ensuring alignment with broader goals.
- Continuous Feedback: Constructive feedback in the moment is far more effective than waiting for a formal review.
And here’s a bonus: When you get 1:1s right, the dreaded end-of-year performance review becomes a breeze.
Why? Because there are no surprises.
1:1s and the End-of-Year Review
I’ve seen leaders panic as performance reviews approach. They scramble to recall what their team members have done, often relying on vague memories or incomplete notes. It’s stressful for them—and unfair to their team.
But here’s the truth: performance reviews shouldn’t feel like a reveal. If you’ve been having meaningful 1:1s, the review is simply a summary of an ongoing dialogue.
By giving continuous feedback and checking in regularly, you eliminate surprises. Instead, the review becomes a celebration of growth and a roadmap for future development.
How to Turn 1:1s Into Leadership Gold
If you’ve been neglecting 1:1s or treating them as task check-ins, don’t worry. It’s never too late to shift your approach.
Here’s how:
1. Prioritize Frequency
Don’t let weeks go by without checking in. A consistent schedule—weekly, biweekly, or even monthly—sets the foundation for trust and alignment. Make it non-negotiable.
2. Make It About the Person, Not Just the Projects
Ask questions that go beyond deliverables:
- “What do you love about your work?”
- “What’s one thing you’re excited about right now?”
- “What’s a challenge you’ve been facing, and how can I help?”
- “What’s a skill or goal you’d like to focus on this quarter?”
These questions shift the focus from what they’re doing to who they are and where they’re heading.
3. Build a Culture of Feedback
Use 1:1s to give regular feedback—both positive and constructive. Don’t wait for a major milestone to say, “Great job,” or, “Let’s adjust this approach.”
Feedback in real-time not only helps your team improve but also reinforces that you’re paying attention to their work and growth.
4. Be Fully Present
Put down the laptop. Turn off the phone. Look them in the eye. This one seems simple, but it’s powerful. Being fully present communicates respect and care.
5. Track and Follow Up
Take notes—but share them! Use tools or a shared document to record key points and action items. Following up on these points shows you’re committed to their success.
A Simple Framework for 1:1 Success
If you’re wondering how to structure your 1:1s, here’s a framework I’ve used:
- Check-In: Start with their well-being. “How’s everything going for you this week?”
- Celebrate Wins: Recognize their accomplishments—big or small.
- Dive Into Challenges: Ask, “What’s the biggest obstacle you’re facing right now?”
- Discuss Growth: Talk about skills or career goals they want to develop.
- Align and Act: End with clear action items for both of you.
Bridging the Leadership Gap
I often talk about the gap between managing tasks and leading people. It’s a subtle but powerful shift that separates great leaders from average ones.
1:1s are one of the most effective ways to bridge that gap. They show your team that you care—not just about the work but about them.
By prioritizing these conversations and doing them well, you’ll not only strengthen your relationships but also create a more engaged, aligned, and high-performing team.
Now What?
Take a moment to reflect:
- Are you conducting regular 1:1s with your team?
- When you do, are you focusing on the person—or just the tasks?
If your 1:1s feel like a checkbox, it’s time to reimagine them. Step out from behind the screen, ask the right questions, and make these meetings a tool for connection and growth.
Your team deserves it. And at the end of the year, you’ll thank yourself for it.
Warmly,
Florin
Bridging Leadership Gaps
Get My Free Guide: 5 Strategies for Retaining Top Talent
Voluntary turnover it’s an ALARMINGLY preventable problem.
To combat this, I have outlined five leadership strategies that will keep your top performers leaned in and performing.