I recently worked with a leader who had just stepped into a challenging new role. Let’s call him John.

John was excited. He had inherited a high-performing engineering team tasked with delivering a critical product launch.

But the honeymoon phase didn’t last long.

John had big ideas and a clear vision for how to lead the team. He was eager to make his John. However, in his enthusiasm to get started, he skipped an important step: understanding the team dynamics before walking into his first big meeting.

The result?

A disaster.

The Meeting That Went Sideways

John’s first team meeting was meant to set the tone. He walked in confident, ready to share his vision and expectations.

But almost immediately, the atmosphere shifted.

A few vocal team members hijacked the discussion, steering it toward past frustrations. Their passive-aggressive comments weren’t overtly disrespectful, but they undermined John’s authority.

Other team members sat quietly, arms crossed, offering little engagement.

What should have been a productive meeting turned into a tense standoff. By the end, John felt like he had lost the room entirely.

What Went Wrong

John made a classic mistake many new leaders make: he underestimated the power of informal leadership within the team.

Every group has its dynamics—unspoken rules, alliances, and key influencers who may not hold official titles but wield significant sway. Without understanding these dynamics, even the best plans can fail.

John’s experience wasn’t about the content of his ideas. It was about the process. The vocal members of his team weren’t against him—they were protecting a system they felt worked for them.

The Recovery Plan

After that meeting, John and I sat down to diagnose what went wrong and chart a path forward.

Here’s how we approached it:

1. Identify the Informal Leaders

Every team has informal leaders—the ones others look to for cues, approval, or dissent.

John hadn’t considered this. He assumed his role as the official team leader would naturally command respect. But leadership isn’t automatic—it’s earned.

John took time to observe the team and identify who these informal leaders were. He noted who spoke up most, who others deferred to in conversations, and whose opinions seemed to carry the most weight.

2. Engage in One-on-One Conversations

John’s next step was critical: meeting individually with the team members, especially the informal leaders.

In these meetings, he didn’t try to sell his vision. Instead, he listened.

“What do you think is working well for the team?” “What challenges do you see with the way we’re doing things now?” “What would make this transition easier for you?”

These conversations revealed a lot. Some team members were frustrated about not being consulted before decisions were made. Others feared the changes John proposed would disrupt workflows that had taken years to perfect.

More importantly, these discussions gave John the chance to acknowledge their concerns and show that he valued their input.

3. Co-Create the Path Forward

John realized he couldn’t dictate change to the team. He needed to bring them along for the journey.

In follow-up conversations, he asked for their input on how to implement his ideas.

For example, instead of saying, “We need to switch to this new process,” he asked, “What do you think the impact would be if we tried this approach? How can we adjust it to work better for the team?”

By involving them in the decision-making process, John turned resistance into ownership.

4. Prepare for the Next Meeting

Before the next team meeting, John reached out to the informal leaders again. He previewed his agenda, shared his key points, and invited their feedback.

When the meeting began, John didn’t face a passive-aggressive room. He faced a team that had been heard, and more importantly, included.

Even the vocal members who had derailed the first meeting now supported him. They had become his advocates.

Bridging the Leadership Gap

John’s initial misstep wasn’t about lack of competence or good intentions. It was about skipping the vital work of understanding the team he inherited.

The gap he needed to bridge was clear: transitioning from an outsider with a title to a trusted leader with influence.

His recovery showed how effective leadership isn’t about exerting control but building trust. It’s about recognizing that leadership is a team sport, and the best leaders work with—not against—their people.

How You Can Avoid John’s Mistake

If you’re stepping into a new leadership role, here’s how you can win the room before you enter it:

1. Map the Team Dynamics

Who are the informal leaders? What unspoken rules or norms define the team’s culture?

2. Build Relationships First

Schedule one-on-one conversations to understand perspectives, concerns, and priorities. Focus on listening, not leading.

3. Involve the Team in the Process

Share your vision, but invite feedback. Co-create solutions to build buy-in.

4. Prepare for Meetings Like a Chess Match

Anticipate who might support or challenge you. Address concerns proactively in private conversations.

The Lesson for Leaders

John’s story is a powerful reminder that leadership isn’t about walking into a room and commanding authority.

It’s about earning trust.

When you take the time to understand your team, engage with key players, and bring people into the process, you don’t just win the room—you win the team.

Are you facing a similar leadership challenge? Let’s talk. I’d love to help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be as a leader.