Why Your Praise Might Be Falling Flat (and how to fix it without changing who you are as a leader)
A while ago, I worked with a leader. He didn’t understand why his team seemed… disengaged. He had given them autonomy. He’d challenged them to hit clear targets. He was transparent, efficient, and focused on results. But despite delivering solid outcomes, the energy in the room was flat. No one seemed excited. No one was taking initiative. And in 1:1s? People kept things surface-level. He was a DC-style leader (I know this for a fact because that's the first step in our executive coaching process: completing our Maxwell Communication Assessment.) He was driven, decisive, and exacting. Results motivated him. Pressure energized him. And praise? He didn’t think he needed it. So naturally, he assumed others didn’t either. When he did offer recognition, it sounded like this: “Good. You did what I expected.” “That’s what we needed. Thanks.” He wasn’t being cold — he was being clear. But to his team, it felt transactional. Like a checklist, not a compliment. The Leadership Mistake That’s...
The Recognition Gap: The Silent Killer of Motivation, Trust, and Retention
He didn’t want praise. He wanted to know it mattered. That’s what stuck with me after a conversation with a frustrated project lead. He’d led a cross-functional team through a brutal sprint. Late nights. High stakes. Solid delivery. The recognition? A generic “thanks team” in Slack. No mention of the effort. No callout for what went well. So he backed off. Not emotionally. Tactically. Still showed up. Still delivered. But stopped offering ideas. Stopped mentoring juniors. Stopped going the extra mile. This is the Recognition Gap. And in high-performing, fast-moving environments, it’s everywhere. ❗ The Silent Cost of Overlooking Effort In tech and engineering teams especially, leaders often underestimate the impact of recognition. We tell ourselves: “They’re professionals. They don’t need praise.” “They’ll tell me if they’re unhappy.” But most don’t. They just stop giving you their best. Here’s what recognition really does: 🔹 Motivation Recognition fuels the desire to keep pushing....
Trust Isn’t a Bonus: It’s the Operating System – Why Nordic Leadership Depends on It
Imagine this. You walk into the meeting with a solid plan. Clear structure. Aligned with strategy. You present it. The team nods politely. A few ask clarifying questions. No objections. But then… nothing. No next steps. No energy. The conversation fizzles out. What just happened? You didn’t hit a wall — you hit a trust gap. Why Trust is the Operating System in Nordic Workplaces In Denmark and Sweden, trust is assumed — not negotiated. People expect leaders to: Be transparent, even when they don’t have all the answers. Trust them to make decisions without constant oversight. Align actions with values — consistently. This is not a “nice to have.” It’s the invisible structure holding everything up. And when trust wobbles, everything slows down — even in high-functioning teams. That’s why Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team begins with the absence of trust as the root dysfunction. When team members don’t trust each other — or their leader — they hold back. They: Avoid...
When Silence Isn’t Golden. It’s Dangerous.
Imagine yourself leading a critical Monday morning meeting. You stand at the front of the room, feeling energized, confident, and clear. Your vision is exciting. The strategy is bold. You passionately outline the next ambitious goal. You pause, looking around the room, expecting dialogue, curiosity, even pushback. But instead, you're met with a deafening silence. The room feels thick. Eyes are downcast, glancing away or quietly fixed on their screens. People shift slightly in their chairs. You sense hesitation, reservation, and even discomfort lingering unspoken in the air. Yet no one says a word. At first, you think, "Maybe they just need time to digest." But deep down, you sense something else—something troubling. Silence isn't agreement. In my years coaching senior leaders, especially across tech and engineering companies here in the Nordics, I’ve seen silence often mask deeper issues: hesitation, fear of disagreement, or self-protection. What you're experiencing is what I call...
Why Your Best People Leave When You Least Expect It
Imagine this vividly: You sit at your desk, stunned by the resignation email from your top performer — the brilliant team member you've always counted on. This wasn't just anyone; this was your "go-to" person, someone you'd invested in heavily and trusted deeply. You replay your last few interactions in your mind. Nothing stood out. They were smiling, delivering excellent work, and never voiced concerns openly. Everything seemed "fine." Yet here you are, feeling blindsided. A few days later, you finally get to ask them why. The response hits you hard: "I never felt safe being completely honest here." Suddenly, you see the signs you missed: Meetings where conversations stayed polite but superficial. Issues raised indirectly or after the fact. Debates that never really happened because people were afraid of upsetting each other. This isn't just a resignation; it's a symptom of something deeper: The Trust Gap. What the Trust Gap Really Costs You Trust is the currency of leadership....
The culture you tolerate is the culture you get
A few years ago, I was working with a senior leader in a tech company. Smart. Driven. Respected. But his team? Disengaged. Defensive. Constantly playing it safe. During one of our coaching sessions, I asked him: “What happens when someone misses a deadline on your team?” He shrugged. “We just move on. No need to make a big deal out of it.” I leaned in. “And what are you teaching the team when that happens?” Silence. Because whether he realized it or not, he was teaching them that accountability was optional. Here’s something I’ve seen again and again: Leaders don’t build culture through words. They build it through what they allow. The conversations they avoid. The behaviors they excuse. The misalignments they tolerate. What you permit, you promote. If you let people talk over each other in meetings, you’re promoting dominance over dialogue. If you let deadlines slip without discussion, you’re promoting performance that’s negotiable. If you avoid giving tough feedback, you’re...
Company Culture by Design or by Default?
I walked into the conference room five minutes early. It was quiet. Still. You could almost feel the tension clinging to the walls. People started trickling in, heads down, coffee in hand. No one spoke. No small talk. Just a shuffle of laptops, a few throat clears, and the slow unpacking of silent anxiety. This was a leadership team I’d been called in to coach. On paper, they had it all: a clear mission, a set of beautiful values — words like collaboration, innovation, respect — framed and hanging in the hallway. But the moment I stepped into that room, I knew. Something was off. And not just a little. This team had a culture. But it wasn’t the one they had designed. Here’s what I want you to know: You always have a culture. Even when you’re not trying. Even when no one is talking about it. Even when it’s uncomfortable to name. The question isn’t whether a culture exists. The real question is whether it’s intentional… or accidental. Culture by design or by default? That’s the...
Why Your Team Can’t See Themselves in Your Vision (And What to Do About It)
You’ve got a clear vision. You’ve shared it in town halls, written it in slide decks, and repeated it in strategy memos. And yet, your team still isn’t moving. They agree with the direction. They nod in meetings. But when it comes to initiative, momentum, or ownership… Nothing. That’s because clarity alone doesn’t drive commitment. The real issue? Your team can’t see themselves in your vision. The Invisible Role Problem I once worked with a product team in a Nordic SaaS company. The founder was visionary, passionate, and eloquent. His team admired him. But they weren’t aligned. After hearing the company vision for the fifth time, one team lead said something I’ll never forget: “It sounds exciting. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it.” That’s the invisible role problem. The leader sees the whole picture. But the team doesn’t know where they fit in. When Vision Becomes a Poster, Not a Playbook In the Nordics, we lead with collaboration. We flatten hierarchies. We respect...
Bridging the Vision Gap: Why Your Team Can’t See Themselves in Your Vision (And What to Do About It)
Picture this. You step into a sleek Nordic office. Open-plan, light wood, coffee brewing in the corner. You’re there to lead a team meeting. You’ve spent days refining the strategy deck. The vision is sharp, compelling, and filled with promise. You present it with clarity and care. People nod. They smile politely. Some even offer a few affirming comments afterward. But a month later? Nothing’s moved. People are still stuck in the old way of working. No one’s pushing forward. The energy you felt in the room hasn’t translated into action. What happened? This, my friend, is what I call the Vision Gap. The Vision Gap in Nordic Culture In my coaching with Nordic leaders, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern. Leaders do a great job painting the big picture. They talk about values, direction, and the future we’re building together. They speak with humility, respect, and an open-door mindset. All the qualities we value in the Nordics. But then the momentum stalls. Why? Because the team doesn’t...
Why Your Team Isn’t Acting on Your Feedback (And How to Fix It)
You give feedback. You think you’ve been clear. You even follow up. But still… Nothing changes. The same issues repeat. Performance stalls. And you start to wonder, “What’s not working here?” Most leaders I coach aren’t short on insight. What they’re short on is impact. The truth? Feedback is not just about being right. It’s about being received. My Journey With Feedback (The Uncomfortable Truth) Early in my career, I had a manager who never gave feedback. For months, I worked in the dark. No praise. No direction. When the performance review time came, I was stunned. His rating for me was lower than I expected. Worse - I had no clue what led to it. He never said a word. I felt blindsided. Later, I had another manager whose favorite word was "stabilt" - “it’s stable.” What does that mean? Am I doing well? Should I improve something? What exactly is “stable” supposed to tell me? And then there were others who gave generic feedback: “You need to be more proactive.” “You need to be more...
How to Give Feedback to a Sensitive Team Member (Without Causing Hurt Feelings)
Imagine this. It's Tuesday afternoon, and sunlight gently filters through your office window. You glance at the clock. It's time for your feedback meeting with a team member who is talented but incredibly sensitive. Your stomach tightens slightly at the thought of this conversation. You've been here before, and you know how quickly it can derail if not handled carefully. I've seen this scenario unfold countless times in my work as a leadership coach - talented leaders unintentionally bruising the confidence of their sensitive but valuable team members. It doesn't have to be this way. Let me walk you through a better approach. 1. Start with Empathy (Set the Stage) Picture sitting comfortably across from your team member. You smile warmly, setting a reassuring tone. Say something like: "I've noticed how dedicated you've been lately. Your passion really shines through in your work, and it makes a big difference." A simple sentence can lower defenses, soften tension, and show that you...
Breaking Down Silos: How to Foster Real Collaboration Across Departments
Picture This… You’re in a leadership meeting. The project timeline is tight. The stakes are high. You lay out the plan, breaking it down step by step. When you finish, you scan the room. No one challenges it. No one pushes back. A few nods, a few quiet agreements. You walk out thinking, Great. We’re aligned. But weeks later, nothing is moving. Deadlines slip. Updates are vague. When you dig deeper, you realize people had doubts—but no one voiced them. Sound familiar? This isn’t a leadership problem. It’s a lack of healthy conflict—a silent killer of commitment, especially in Nordic workplaces. Why False Agreement Leads to Inaction Patrick Lencioni, in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, describes a crucial link between conflict and commitment: If teams fear conflict, they avoid difficult conversations. Without those conversations, real concerns stay buried. When people aren’t fully bought in, they won’t fight for the outcome. In many Nordic teams, conflict avoidance is the norm. The...
The Silent Killer of Commitment in Nordic Teams (And How to Fix It)
Picture This… You’re in a leadership meeting. The project timeline is tight. The stakes are high. You lay out the plan, breaking it down step by step. When you finish, you scan the room. No one challenges it. No one pushes back. A few nods, a few quiet agreements. You walk out thinking, Great. We’re aligned. But weeks later, nothing is moving. Deadlines slip. Updates are vague. When you dig deeper, you realize people had doubts—but no one voiced them. Sound familiar? This isn’t a leadership problem. It’s a lack of healthy conflict—a silent killer of commitment, especially in Nordic workplaces. Why False Agreement Leads to Inaction Patrick Lencioni, in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, describes a crucial link between conflict and commitment: If teams fear conflict, they avoid difficult conversations. Without those conversations, real concerns stay buried. When people aren’t fully bought in, they won’t fight for the outcome. In many Nordic teams, conflict avoidance is the norm. The...
Bridging the Accountability Gap: Moving from Blame to Ownership
It’s Monday morning. The air in the conference room is heavy. The team sits around the table, eyes darting, shoulders tense. The last project didn’t hit its targets. Silence stretches. Then, the excuses begin. “We didn’t get the right data on time.” “Marketing dropped the ball on the launch.” “The client kept changing the scope.” No one takes responsibility. Everyone shifts the blame elsewhere. And as I sit there, observing, I realize: this team doesn’t have an execution problem. They have an accountability problem. Sound familiar? Many leaders assume their teams should naturally take ownership. But accountability doesn’t just happen - it needs to be built into the culture. And without it, teams fall into The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, as Patrick Lencioni describes them. At the core of these dysfunctions? A lack of trust and commitment, which erodes accountability. Let’s break this down - and fix it. Why Teams Struggle to Take Responsibility Lencioni’s model reveals that...
The Trust-Based Leader: Why Influence Starts with Relationships
Picture this. A leader steps into a meeting room, armed with data, deadlines, and a clear action plan. The team listens, nods, and takes notes. But after the meeting, nothing changes. Decisions drag. Deadlines slip. People seem disengaged. Now, imagine another leader in the same situation. They start by checking in with the team—not just about work, but about their experiences, challenges, and ideas. They remember small personal details: who just returned from a trip, who’s running a marathon. When they speak, the room leans in. People engage, ask questions, and take ownership of next steps. What’s the difference? Trust. In the Nordics, where hierarchy is minimal and autonomy is high, trust is the single most important currency a leader can have. Without it, influence is slow, resistance is high, and execution stalls. With it, collaboration thrives, and decisions move faster. This is what John Maxwell calls the Law of Connection - leaders must touch a heart before they ask for a...
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